Johaari

Marriage is crazy.  You have your ups and downs but this week, I feel like I fell in love with my husband all over again.  I honestly can’t remember what moment made me feel that way, but I do love him.  He’s such a great guy and so good to me.

God has been so good to us and even through yet another job loss, we still rise. We aren’t lacking a thing, because God has been so faithful.  We are truly conquerors. Actually we are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus.

So I complained about many things last week – getting a new microwave, replacing things in the house, letting things go, being in a wedding, issues with friends, etc. Sounds like I had a lot of praying to do. But the most important thing is that I be about it.  I think it’s okay to complain, but you have to do something about the things that you complain about.

One thing that I had complained about for years is my job.  I want a new job, my boss know that I want a new job – who doesn’t know that I want a new job.  Anyway, I recently took a more active approach in my search for a new job.  I actually extended my search to another state.  I am excited about the opportunity.  We will see what happens.

• Shopping for a new microwave is just a part of growing up.  I didn’t deal with these things when I was younger. 
• We are having to replace a lot things lately and it’s stuff that we need – a new computer, water filter system and microwave.
• I admit we’ve probably been a lot shady on replacing the microwave. We should have gotten rid of that builder’s grade mess a loooooong time ago.
• My husband is holding me to this end of the year deadline of letting things go.  He feels that I have ADD when it comes to certain things in my life so the rule was that I had to focus on one thing.  Boy, is that hard to do. 
• There are a group of friends that I hang with from time to time and all of a sudden I don’t want to be around them that much anymore.  My husband seems to saddened by it because he enjoys their company, but for some reason i don’t anymore.   I’m going to have to dig a little deeper to figure out what it is, but right now I have no clue. They want to go on a trip later in the year but I don’t particularly want to go.  The hubs wants to go so we’ll be there. 
• I’m in a wedding that I don’t want to be in but I’m in it because it I said  yes and I following through on my commitment.  However, I am about to pay a total of $210 for a bride and groom that I don’t know that well.  I’ll take that back.  I’ve known the groom all of my life, but we don’t really talk that much and I am not close to either him or his fiance.  I’ve reached out and they are nice people, but I wouldn’t really consider them friends per say. 
• There’s a minister at my church that lives in the same house as his fiance.  The Word of God says to avoid the appearance of evil. Now no one has ever said anything about this and everyone walks around like its okay.  This bothers me.
• I’ve got to get a better grip on this control that my mom has over me.  For instance, she offered to buy me a new microwave, but it’s on her terms. Also, she’s paying for my anniversary party and every idea that I have gets refuted.  It’s one of those things that when she wants my opinion then she will ask for it.  Other than that, it’s her way. But I refuse to stress myself out over this.

For a few months my husband and I have been engaging in deep discussions about our church home.  Neither one of us feel that we are really learning a whole lot.  I always try to find something that I can take away, but it’s not exciting and we are so bored right now.  The funny thing is that we don’t believe that God has told us go anywhere other than where we are.  We still serve and do everything that we are supposed to do, but we are not fulfilled.  I guess we will just have to continue to wait and see what God says.

I was reading a blog today where a woman announced that she was pregnant. While I felt that I should congratulate her, and I did, I felt bad at the same time. Personally I don’t know what I would do with a child right now. And I get to have my husband all to myself – which is so wonderful to me. I don’t know why I feel bad because if she’s happy then why am I concerned.

Today I was so turned off with food because somebody gave me a pastry and it appeared to have bug legs in it. I can’t get the image out of head therefore making a little difficult to eat.

The blog understands even if others don’t – Is that really true? It’s just that the blog can’t talk back – that’s only if no one comments. 

Anyway, I feel like I am not so cool anymore. I have a group of friends that I have known well for about 8 years.  All of a sudden I feel rejected because I invited them to my anniversary party and over half of them didn’t bother to respond with a yes, no or maybe so.  Out of the 15 people that I invited, only two will be attending.  I don’t know why I feel so bad because people have lives and I am not a priority.  I guess I just wished that more of them would have made an effort to support me.  I just don’t know why I am taking this so personally because it’s not that deep.  Now I am walking around here sulking about something stupid. But I guess that I just needed to get it off of my chest to tell the blog – because it understands.  LOL

Here’s a link of a courthouse wedding in Oregon. I love how people are being creative with their elopements. This couple got married alone, then gathered with a small number of family and friends for a quick toast. Then they hosted small at-home reception a few days later. How nice!!!